adoption? a miracle!

As most of you may know, Sarah's trips to Portland were two fold, ok maybe three fold when you add the ocean into the equation, she came to have a break "getaway from it all" for a few days, she came to see the ocean, but really she came to be with me at a time when I probably needed her the most. She came in may to visit my pregnant belly and to share in the fun and excitement that is pregnancy - i needed that element of "fun". She came in september to be with me postpartum and to host a party in my honor... not a baby shower as would be expected but a birthmom shower. I placed my son for adoption through LDS family services two days after he was born, this past July. She also took care of me in August when I came to stay at mother wendy's goat farm for a week, I needed something to love and 7 baby goats sounded pretty good, loving on baby noah was much fun too! Anyways, sarah got to meet my adoptive family, she got to feel my baby kick and she got to cry a river of tears with me as we drove to the healing powers of the ocean. But she never met my son, she never held him the way I held her son and loved him the way I loved noah when he was first born. She has to love my baby from afar, like the rest of us who love him, but I appreciate her willingness to do that, to love me first and be there for me and let me vicariously experience parenthood thru noah growing up. Our boys are one year one month and 4 days apart! what fun that would have been- raising them together, but that wasn't what was meant to be, a greater miracle was waiting, the miracle of adoption, and what a miracle it has been. And I couldn't have experienced it without her. I love that she loves my baby, I love that she loves the adoptive family I found for him, I love that she loves me, I love that she never did anything but support me 110% even when I called her 32 times in the middle of the night mere hours before boarding a plane to thailand to tell her that I was pregnant, and I love that she supported my adoption- even in the slight wavering moments when I doubted some of the details she kept me grounded... keeping in mind that if I had been pregnant with a girl baby that that would have been a whole nother story for a whole nother post...

anywhoo, click here for my adoption story in a nutshell!